What Does the Bible Say About Honoring Your Father and Mother?

by | Articles, The Ten Commandments

Introduction

Honoring one’s father and mother is a foundational principle in the Bible, carrying both moral and spiritual significance. Rooted in the Ten Commandments, this commandment reflects the importance of respecting and cherishing the roles of parents. This exploration delves into the biblical teachings on honoring father and mother, highlighting the reverence and gratitude believers are called to express toward their parents.

The Fifth Commandment: The command to honor one’s father and mother is explicitly outlined in the Ten Commandments:

  1. “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.” (Exodus 20:12 ESV) This foundational command establishes honoring parents as a core moral duty. Its longevity promise suggests this virtue carries spiritual clout, as keeping it unleashes generational blessings.
  2. “Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may go well with you in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.” (Deuteronomy 5:16 ESV) Moses’ restatement to another generation re-entrenches this duty’s significance. Complying with honoring parents remains tied expressly to divine favor. This secondary affirmation denies Later listeners any excuses to neglect parent-honor as outdated.
  3. “For God commanded, ‘Honor your father and your mother,’ and, ‘Whoever reviles father or mother must surely die.’” (Matthew 15:4 ESV) Jesus invokes the Fifth Commandment as enduring moral law that retains a permanent place among the most serious ethical codes. By citing it long after its initial giving, Christ confirms honor’s timeless priority. Even under grace, insolence toward parents carries fatal consequences.
  4. “Honor your father and mother.’ And ‘Whoever reviles father or mother must surely die.’” (Mark 7:10 ESV) Mark’s gospel parallels Matthew in portraying Jesus quoting the Fifth Commandment. Repeating this exchange spotlights Christ underscoring honor as an essential, unconditional virtue aligned with God’s unchanged character across old and new covenants.

Respecting Authority and Order: Honoring parents extends to recognizing the God-ordained order of authority and family structure:

  1. “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother’ (this is the first commandment with a promise), ‘that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.’” (Ephesians 6:1-3 ESV) Paul affirms obedience and honor toward parents as enduring moral reality, with blessings attached. Grounding this in the Fifth Commandment frames parental honor as virtue eternally pleasing to God, rather than temporary cultural custom.
  2. “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.” (Colossians 3:20 ESV) This further establishes filial honor as virtue with ramifications reaching heaven’s throne. When children obey parents, it exponentially magnifies earthly pleasure to become divine delight. This forever ties parent-child dynamics to God’s eternal standards.
  3. “Let the elders who rule well be considered worthy of double honor, especially those who labor in preaching and teaching.” (1 Timothy 5:17 ESV) In this context on church leadership, Paul associates honor with recognizing those in authority. His call for heightened honor for elders builds on the preexisting command for children to honor parents, extending the principle of respecting authority first learned at home.
  4. “Be subject for the Lord’s sake to every human institution, whether it be to the emperor as supreme, or to governors as sent by him to punish those who do evil and to praise those who do good.” (1 Peter 2:13-14 ESV) Peter parallels citizen-ruler relations with the parent-child dynamic as structures to which God calls Christ-followers to defer out of reverence for divine order. Honoring parents thus provides preparation for embracing political authority.

Expressing Gratitude and Respect: The Bible emphasizes the need for children to express gratitude and respect toward their parents:

  1. “Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old.” (Proverbs 23:22 ESV) This command for lifelong deference acknowledges parents’ gift of very life itself. It frames respect for those who sacrificed as repayment of spiritual debt. Honor remains obligatory even after parents lose societal prominence and become vulnerable.
  2. “Every one of you shall revere his mother and his father, and you shall keep my Sabbaths: I am the Lord your God.” (Leviticus 19:3 ESV) Here parental honor appears alongside the command to honor God Himself. This juxtaposition underscores parents’ roles as divinely deputized stewards and representatives during childhood, worthy of near-religious reverence. Fearing parents prepares hearts for fearing the Lord.
  3. “Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching, for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck.” (Proverbs 1:8-9 ESV) Solomon poetically elevates parental counsel as supreme human wisdom to be pursued. This establishes parents as children’s foremost mentors and teachers, whose loving guidance merits lifelong study. Honor thus partly entails acknowledging parents’ unrivaled investment.
  4. “My son, keep your father’s commandment, and forsake not your mother’s teaching…When you walk, they will lead you; when you lie down, they will watch over you; and when you awake, they will talk with you.” (Proverbs 6:20-22 ESV) This further captures parents’ irreplaceable role in nurturing faith and wisdom. Internalizing and perpetually revisiting parental instruction ensures security. Ongoing honor repays their perseverance.

Caring for Aging Parents: The Bible also speaks to the responsibility of caring for aging parents:

  1. “But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” (1 Timothy 5:8 ESV) This indictment makes materially caring for parents, especially when dependent, an essential badge of genuine faith. Allowing their vulnerability exposes hypocrisy; their need reveals hearts. Honoring parents culminates in supporting them.
  2. “[The widow] who is truly a widow, left all alone, has set her hope on God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day,…But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” (1 Timothy 5:5,8 ESV) Here Paul directly relates honoring widowed mothers with practical support. He functionally equates neglecting provisions for aged parents with defiant unbelief, no matter the outward profession.
  3. “A son…who deals with a slack hand…Is companion to a destroyer.” (Proverbs 18:9 ESV) Harsh words fall on adult children who remain unresponsive to parents’ mounting limitations. As maturity reverses dependencies, the baton for caretaking passes to the next leg of love. Honor runs the whole race.
  4. “Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old.” (Proverbs 23:22 KJV) Once again parents’ vulnerable latter years appear during which honor remains obligatory. The call to hearken reinforces lifelong parental counsel as well, rather than restricting communication’s value to childhood. Regardless of age or audience size, the need to rehearse and perpetuate their hard-earned wisdom persists long after parents themselves exit stage right.

Jesus’ Confirmation: Jesus reaffirms the significance of honoring parents and exposes the consequences of neglecting this command:

  1. “For Moses said, ‘Honor your father and your mother’; and, ‘Whoever reviles father or mother must surely die.’ But you say, ‘If a man tells his father or his mother…you no longer permit him to do anything for his father or mother…’” (Mark 7:10-12 ESV) Christ confronts religious leaders bending technicalities to avoid providing for aged parents. By exposing their hypocrisy in reference to Fifth Commandment duties, Jesus re-establishes honor’s continuity into the present. Far from antiquated, parent-honor remains required.
  2. “Whoever curses father or mother shall be put to death.” (Mark 7:10 ESV) Here Christ spotlights the most extreme lack of honor: outright contempt in word and deed for the parents that raised one. By endorsing capital consequences, Jesus awakens listeners to honor’s urgency as duty carrying the weight of life itself, with temporal and eternal implications.
  3. “Honor widows who are truly widows.” (1 Timothy 5:3 ESV) Beyond biological lineage, Christ’s culture also valued honoring elder mentors functioning as adopted parents in faith. Christ’s love transmits through his spiritual children caring for aging saints who invested spiritually in younger believers. The Church thus functions as an extended fulfillment of the spirit of the Fifth Commandment.
  4. “But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God.” (1 Timothy 5:4 ESV) Christ’s Church also functions as an extended fulfillment of the spirit of the Fifth Commandment. Here care for widowed church mothers becomes the responsibility of spiritual children. By calling such honor for parents “pleasing in the sight of God,” Paul explicitly extends the language of the Fifth Commandment into the new covenant.

Eternal Principle: The principle of honoring one’s father and mother transcends cultural and temporal boundaries, reflecting an eternal truth:

  1. “Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old.” (Proverbs 23:22 KJV) Once again, the call to perpetual honor for one’s long-aged mother reflects a principle not confined by changing time and place. The practice of honoring vulnerability, learned first with parents, finds new objects after parents depart because selfless service remains always in season.
  2. “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother’ (this is the first commandment with a promise), ‘that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.'” (Ephesians 6:1-3) In quoting the Fifth Commandment to the Ephesians, Paul confirms its active continuity under the new covenant. His application long after its Sinai inception confirms honor as an eternal expectation reflecting God’s fixed design for human relationships and the societies they populate.
  3. “I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well.” (2 Timothy 1:5 ESV) In commending Timothy’s faith, Paul honors the pivotal role of Timothy’s mother and grandmother in nurturing an enduring faith legacy transcending generations. Their lasting spiritual influence hints at eternity’s reach as parents model godliness through fleeting lifetimes. The investments of faithful forebears continue compounding dividends long after their departure.
  4. “Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children’s children.” (Deuteronomy 4:9) Moses rolls purpose from past into future by commanding parents to perpetually share remembering God’s faithfulness. Honor thus entwines the generations, each owing gratitude to those preceding and bequeathing stories of provision to those following after.

Conclusion

In conclusion, honoring one’s father and mother is not merely a cultural norm but a divine command with profound spiritual implications. Rooted in the Fifth Commandment, this principle extends beyond childhood and remains relevant throughout life. Scripture calls believers to express gratitude, respect authority, and care for aging parents, recognizing the enduring significance of honoring one’s parents in the eyes of God. As an eternal truth, the command to honor father and mother serves as a foundation for healthy family dynamics and reflects a heart aligned with God’s divine order.